Date: Sun, 23 Nov 2003 19:41:57 -0500
From: Dwight Jester [email protected]
Subject: Re: New Prayer I have written
I had a man call me and ask me to write a prayer for another man who could not forgive himself for something he had done. I wrote the prayer and delivered it to the man. This morning I read it to the church to see of the witnessed to it. They did, and requested that I send a copy to them. I am sending the prayer to all of you just in case you happen to know some person who can not or will not forgive them self. In Jesus, Dwight
I HAVE DONE A HORRIBLE THING THAT I CAN NOT BE FORGIVEN FOR.
I have done something so bad and horrible that I could never be forgiven for it. I deserve every punishment that could happen to me--Injury, sickness, incurable disease, rejection by friends, fellow workers, girlfriends, parents, grandparents, boss, etc. I donít deserve to be forgiven. I should be punished in hell for what I have done.
I have made up my mind that no one can ever forgive me, and I refuse to forgive myself. What I have not realized until right now is that I am playing-god over my life. I am the one that has decided the punishment I need, and no one can change my mind. Even God canít. What I donít realize is that Satan is the one that is causing me to feel this way about myself. He has deceived me into being the judge and executioner of my life because of the evil deed I have done. I am trampling under my feet the blood that Jesus shed for me so I could be forgiven. I now realize that the real evil I have done is the rejection of the forgiveness that God provided for me when Jesus died on the cross, was buried and rose again so I could have a brand new life in Him.
Paul, the apostle, killed hundreds of people. When he was struck by a great light from his donkey by God, he spent three days completely blind. But, God came to him and forgave him, and he became a great witness for God. Paul killed innocent people, but he has helped untold millions more have a new life because he received the forgiveness of God when God offered it to him. If God can forgive Paul, He can forgive me.
I have always believed I could not be forgiven and I did not deserve to be forgiven, and I did not want to be forgiven. I now realize that Satan was deceiving me into believing that. Right now, I choose to be forgiven, and I know I canít forgive myself. I have to ask God to forgive me, and He will because He sacrificed His own Son on a cross, let Him die, and then raised Him from the dead so I could be forgiven.
Father, in heaven, I ask you to forgive me and take away all the rage, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness that I feel towards myself for what I have done. What I did was horrible, but you let Jesus die so I could be forgiven. Today, I want to begin to live a brand new life and not continue in the life I am now living. Let true forgiveness sweep over me and fill my whole being until I know that I know I am truly forgiven for what I have done.
I pray this in Jesus name.
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