Date: Tue, 02 Dec 2003 05:15:44 -0500
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Paul Phillips
Subject: As Much as Possible

We all have images and ideas formed in our childhood.
Mine were basically that I was neither loved or accepted.

Visiting Maryland, the other day, I was just sitting,
talking to mom, when the LORD spoke to me.

He rather showed me, than spoke, that all the images I
had of my childhood were false, and that my mother had
no idea of what they were and how they effected my life.

He then spoke and told me that they were false.

"That is a lot to give up, I said, that is really a
large part of who I am." (Meaning my old man nature.)

The Father spoke again, saying words to this effect.

"Are you willing, as much as you are able, to give up
what I am showing you."

Reply: Yes

"Will you allow Me to deliver you?"

Again: Yes.

Things got worse, soon after that, but then began to
turn around. Since then I have discovered that all I
used to do, and say, and believe, out of my "old man
nature" (that nature that has not be renewed by God)

came from these false childhood memories and images
of rejection.

I talked to my pastor yesterday about this and he
got very excited. Dwight is writing a paper about
having faith as small as a mustard seed, that will
be well worth reading. When it is finished I will
send it on.

In the meantime, I urge you to accept, as much as
you are able, what God is showing you, and allow
Him to work in your life.


PS, almost forgot to say that I feel like a new
person, with a new beginning. The old anger and
way of doing things is just not there. Everything
will change from here, but it will take time. I
am sure of it. Jesus is LORD, and He loves me,
and you.

Second email ________________________________________________________
You need to know these things, however embarrassing they may be.
Refer to the former email.

For me, these things came from rejection, the feeling of rejection,
and some would say, the spirit of rejection

Overeating- from rejection
Sex outside of marriage- from rejection
Bad relationships with people- from rejection
Living apart from people- from rejection
Spending money to make myself feel better- from rejection
Road Rage- from rejection
Fits of anger- from rejection
Expectation that people are out to get me- from rejection
Drugs and alcohol, I have not done, but others have- from rejection

What the LORD has shown me since the events of the last email, is that
how the "old man" is set up in each person, is different.

In my case, the spirit of rejection and the images of being
rejected, were the "lynch pins" of my problems, the root of my
"old man nature." That is, the unregenerated evil person that satan
wants me to be, that God DID NOT CREATE ME TO BE.

That is, the root of who I am not supposed to be, that does not come
from God.

Please, allow God to show you why you "do the things you do not want
to do, "Romans 7-19

19 For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds that I do not desire to do are what I am [ever] doing.

20 Now if I do what I do not desire to do, it is no longer I doing it [it is not myself that acts], but the sin [principle] which dwells within me [fixed and operating in my soul].

21 So I find it to be a law (rule of action of my being) that when I
want to do what is right and good, evil is ever present with me and I am subject to its insistent demands.

22 For I endorse and delight in the Law of God in my inmost self
[with my new nature]. [Ps. 1:2.]

23 But I discern in my bodily members [in the sensitive appetites
and wills of the flesh] a different law (rule of action) at war against the law of my mind (my reason) and making me a prisoner to the law of sin that dwells in my bodily organs [in the sensitive appetites and wills of the flesh].

24 O unhappy and pitiable and wretched man that I am! Who will release and deliver me from [the shackles of] this body of death?

25 O thank God! [He will!] through Jesus Christ (the Anointed One)
our Lord! So then indeed I, of myself with the mind and heart, serve
the Law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of
wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not
after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit. [John 3:18.]

2 For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus
[the law of our new being] has freed me from the law of sin and of death.

3 For God has done what the Law could not do, [its power] being
weakened by the flesh [the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit]

The amplified Bible, containing the amplified Old Testament and the
amplified New Testament. 1987. The Lockman Foundation.

Allow God to show you why you do things you do not want to do, and,
as much as you are able, accept them as wrong, and not true, and allow HIM to deliver you.